Friday, December 3, 2010

Rough Patch

I know it isn't ideal to blog about the drama your going through on the internet however, like most people, this is my 'journal' so here it goes (feel free to skip this post, I won't be offended).....

I am going through a rough patch in my life and I am a ball of all sorts of emotions; anger, hurt, sadness, fear, confusion, the list goes on. Now before some people jump to conclusions, this has NOTHING to do with my marriage/husband. I prefer not to mention specific details, but worry not, my marriage couldn't be better.

I have been struggling with issues around this situation for some time and although my attempt has been to handle in a civil manner, things are getting out of control and I fear I am losing a loved one over it.

I have always been the type of person who has strived to keep other people happy and have recently been working with a counselor to put my happiness first (in a self care way, not selfish way). Apparently some people are not liking the changes I am making and that I am setting boundaries for myself because I have since been accused of being disrespectful and unappreciative. The last thing I want people to think is that I am doing these things to be mean, spiteful and selfish, but I have to do what is best for ME, I have to put my happiness before theirs.

I am so confused and am simply at a loss as to what to do. Do I simply back down and do what other people want of me even though it is not what I want for myself or what I think will make me happy or do I risk losing someone I NEVER thought I would lose? Why can't their be some compromise amongst us adults? Why does it have to be all or nothing? How am I being blamed for the way things have gone down?

What confuses me even more are the mixed signals I have been getting. One minute everything seems fine, the next minute it is finger pointing and hurtful words. One second we are enjoying conversations over the phone, the next second I am getting an email blaming me for being disrespectful and unappreciative.

All I know is I can't imagine my life without this person. At this point I am willing to do what it takes to make this situation better, but only within my boundaries (which I have expressed before). I don't think it is fair to be put in an uncomfortable situation just because it is what is best for someone else.

I hope and pray this will work out for all parties involved because I don't know if I can live without them in my life.

To be continued.....

On a lighter note, Happy Friday everyone. Hope you all enjoy the weekend!


Starvin said...

Keep your chin up Ms. Pickle. You have a lot of people who think you're pretty great (even if they accidentally drop the cake you made them on their 30th birthday). Although easier said then done, focus on the positive aspects of your life!!!

Tara said...

awww i'm sorry you're going through a rough patch! i hope everything works out for the best!

V said...

I'll keep you in my prayers. Always follow your heart and your gut feelings <3

Marcie Lynn Photography said...

Love ya, Sis!

Ashley @ KiwisandCocktails said...

I say, put yourself first no matter what. If you are really upset about this, then it is not selfish to do what YOU need to do!
I HOPE this gets better for you really soon. :(((
If the person causing pain continues to cause this pain, maybe you should take a break from this person, if at all possible.

Kassie said...

I'm sorry you're going through a rough patch. I remember when I had to "break up" with a close friend a few years ago (not that that is exactly what you are going through). It was miserable and hurt just as bad as a "real" breakup, but was equally necessary.