Lost

I know posting had been sparse around these parts. I don't even know if anyone still reads my blog. I am okay if readers have moved on to blogs that contains more than one post every couple of months. But, just because I may not have readers, doesn't mean I am not still going to use this blog as an outlet.

I have been going through some things lately that have left me feeling lost. I have been asked what truly makes me happy and am only being honest when I say that I really don't know (other than the typical family, friends, having a job, being fairly healthy, etc.) I know everyone has their struggles and is dealing with more than I am, so I tend to jut keep this to myself rather than opening up about it, but it is something I am struggling with.

I have been diagnosed with depression and been on antidepressants a number of times since I was a teenager. I go to a counselor to work on issues also. I would love to be someone who is just naturally happy, but I don't think it is part of my inner workings. I get in my head a lot and can't turn my brain off to just enjoy life. I over analyze everything.

I feel like I am walking through a dark cave and am just anxious to get through to the other side and enjoy some sunshine and happiness.

So excited!

The hubby and I had some friends over yesterday to watch the 49ers play the Falcons. It was an intense atmosphere at times, but the Niners managed to win and are now heading to the Super Bowl!!! So freaking excited. The hubby gets to go to the Super Bowl; I am still trying to talk my way into getting that invite (hubby's friend is paying for them because they had a bet).

Year in Review - 2012

2012 went by so super fast. Since I didn't keep up with the blog all that much in 2012, I figured I would post a little recap for this little online journal I have been neglecting.

January

Rang in the New Year with some friends of ours at their cabin at Pine Mountain Lake

Celebrated Mr. Pickle's birthday in Pacific Grove with some friend's

At the Monterey Bay Aquarium

Attended a friend's baby shower

Watched the Niners win the Divisional Playoffs, but lose the Championship game that they should have won to go on to the Super Bowl (fingers crossed for this year)

February

Watched the Super Bowl (albeit still a little bitter the Niners weren't participating)

Celebrated mom's birthday

Celebrated a low-key Valentine's Day

Celebrated a friend's 30th birthday in San Francisco

Moraccan Restaurant

March

Interviewed and started a new job

Girls trip to LA

Sur Lounge in West Hollywood

Attended a friend's band's concert at The Fox Theatre in Oakland

April

Celebrated Easter in San Francisco with friends

Random park in SF

Attended a friend's bridal shower

Dinner with extended family

Yankee Pier

Celebrated a friend's 30th birthday wine tasting in Napa

 Mumm Winery

May

Traveled to Hawaii with my sister and grandpa

Big Lahinia Luau

Attended/helped throw my sister's bridal shower

Attended a friend's wedding in Modesto

June

Celebrated my birthday

Attended a friend's bachelorette party in Lake Tahoe

Celebrated Father's Day by taking my grandpa to a Tainted Love (ie. greatest 80's cover band ever) concert and the horse races

Golden Gate Fields

Attended/was a Bridesmaid for a friend's wedding in Rocklin

July

Celebrated 4th of July

SICK (I'll spare you the pics of my pussy throat...TMI?)

Attended/threw my sister's bachelorette party in Santa Rosa/Sonoma

Celebrated a friend's 30th birthday singing karaoke in San Francisco

Celebrated my grandpa's 90th birthday

August

Celebrated 5 years of marriage

Shawn Starr Photography

Spent a week in Lake Tahoe for my sister's wedding

September

Traveled to Lake Tahoe for Rib Fest

Traveled to Minnesota for sister's Minnesota reception

Attended a baby shower for a friend I have known since I was in middle school

Attended a friend's wedding in Lodi

October

Attended an Oktoberfest party

Attended my first Niners game

Had to put our oldest dog, Satchmo, down :(

RIP Satchmo

Participated in Habitat for Humanity in Oakland

Haunted House with sister

Attended a BBQ at hubby's co-worker's house

Watched Giant's win the playoffs and go on to win the World Series

Celebrated Halloween

November

Voted

Celebrated a friend's birthday in Oakland

Make Westing

Attended my first Monday Night Football game

Attended my family's Fakesgiving

Attended a friend's Holiday Party (80's theme) in San Francisco

Thanksgiving in Modesto

Attended the tree lighting ceremony at Union Square

Attended Starvin Marvins Guest Bar Tending event for Toys for Tots

December

Celebrated a friend's birthday in San Francisco

ChaChaCha's

Annual Cookie baking day with mom and sis

Attended a Speakeasy at our favorite bar in Livermore

Celebrated brother-in-law's birthday in Walnut Creek

Annual ladies night at the Nutcracker in San Francisco

Attended/helped organize company's Christmas party

Celebrated my sister opening her photography studio

Celebrated my bestie's daughter's 1st birthday

Cookie exchange with friends

Celebrated a friend's 30th birthday in Sacramento

Celebrated Christmas with Modesto family

Celebrated Christmas Eve at our home with mine and hubby's family

Celebrated Christmas sick in bed and watched Christmas Vacation with grandpa

Rang in the New Year with hubby, sister, brother-in-law and friends at my sister's house

Sprinkle in a lot of girl's nights, book club nights, happy hours, dinner dates and all around good times and that about sums up my year.